It has come to my attention recently that you cannot control life. I guess I already knew this but had apparently forgotten. Things happen. Things change. Change can bring a fair amount of stress and anxiety so I have pushed myself to look for good things. Not surprisingly, good things are happening all around. I just need to chill out, take a step back, and appreciate them. So to help with this I have decided to dedicate a post each day this week to a good thing.
For anyone who knows me you are well aware that I am not the world's best flyer. It really stresses me out. I'm not afraid of the plane crashing...just turbulence. I guess I'm a bit of a control freak and control is one thing that you check with your bags when you decide to get on a plane and fly 35,000 ft. in the air. Turbulence makes people sick. This is my nightmare. In the past I've have had to take medicine to help me through the whole process. I'm the girl that not one wants to sit next to on a plane. I've been know to hyperventilate, cry, talk relentlessly, jump in my seat, and one time I even asked the stranger next to me if I could hold their hand. I'm not kidding. It was a low point. One would think that I would have gotten over this in college as I flew back to Maryland countless times for holidays and to visit Cliff. Nope. I didn't. Several of my best "Kim stories" revolve around my flying shenannigans. But those are stories for another day.
Over the past few years I really haven't had to fly all that much. When I did fly, Cliff was there to provide calming encouragement. When we moved back to Oregon I realized that I would need to get over my fear of flying. I'm not in the air for 58 minutes anymore (BWI to Logan). I'm in the air for hours. Multiple take-offs. Multiple landings. Ugghh. When we flew back home for the holidays I did it without any medication. Victory. I was still nervous as heck but I did it. Cliff said it was my best flight ever and I didn't have to sleep off my meds for a few hours after we landed. This was a step in the right direction.
Last week I decided to fly back to Virginia as my Dad was having surgery. I wanted to be there and in order to do that I needed to get my butt on a plane. I was so dead set on getting to Virginia that I didn't have a total meltdown at the idea of flying alone. My Dad was bravely going into surgery. All I needed to do was put my foot on the plane. I needed to be brave.
To get home I needed to take the red-eye (my first ever) and then ride on a small plane (14 rows of three people). The red-eye flight went great. I bought one of those neck pillows and Delta gave all of us a little red blanket. It was a fancy plane so it had a TV screen on the back of the seat in front of me. I got to watch episodes of The New Girl, Whitney, and Raising Hope. I also got to see where we were over the U.S. and track our speed, the temperature outside, and our altitude. The guy next to me was a real pro. He sat with his hands folded in his lap and his head back and slept the whole time. No neck pillow or ear plugs. He was even in the middle seat! He didn't fall over or forward once. I was totally impressed. Seriously, he was awesome. The second flight wasn't terrible. I calmly boarded the plane and reminded myself that there was no other way for me to get home. I kept repeating to myself "You can do this. You are in control of your emotions. You are brave. It is going to be alright." Positive affirmations apparently work as I made it home and I didn't scar anyone around me. I was brave. I was victorious.
I flew Delta and they still give you a drink and a snack once you are in the air. This is great news as one of their snack choices are the amazing Biscoff cookies. I love Biscoffs! For anyone who doesn't know what they are they are cinnamon/sugar biscuits. They are amazing. After college graduation Kathy, Jill, Sam, and I flew to Disney World to celebrate. We flew on Delta and when we told them that we had just graduated they gave us a whole package of Biscoffs. It was like we hit the jackpot. Because they are tasty and because they make me think of our trip they hold a special place in my heart. Anyways...I got Biscoffs. It made me really happy.
I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to be with family for a few days. My Mom picked me up from the airport and we went to lunch. I got to be there for Dad's surgery. He was strong and he did great. I know he will continue to do great through his recovery. I got to spend time with aunts, uncles, cousins, and my grandma. I'm lucky to have these folks in my life.
I was only able to stay in Virginia for a couple of days. I calmly made it through my two flights to get home. There was even about 45 minutes worth of "flight attendants to your seats" turbulence. Between my four flights there was no hyperventilating, crying, relentless talking, and I didn't bothered any of the folks who slept next to me in their seats. When I got off the plane in Portland I was greeted by a man playing the piano and singing Michael Buble songs. It was awesome. I cannot tell you how proud I am of myself for facing my fear. I can fly places now. Fear of flying won't determine what I do or don't do in my life. That is a very liberating.
Acknowledging bravery is definitely worthy of a good thing mention. Bravo to us all. We all need to be strong and keep up the good work. Hopefully my posts for the next few days will encourage others to look for unexpected good things in their own lives. They don't have to be huge. Heck, look how excited I got over a package of Biscoffs.
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